I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
this is an emotional support booty call
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
