I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
