Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
