My Higher Power is John Stamos
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize