PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize