Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
