Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
