just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
