if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
