dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
