The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
