so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
