also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
