come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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