She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
