Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
