doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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