Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
