Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
