i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize