I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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