I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
