i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
