Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
