WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
