ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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