i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
