yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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