I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
