everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up under a house in Key West
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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