I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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