its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
