so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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