I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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