i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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