so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize