I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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