Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
