Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
