I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
