My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
