big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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