I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
