Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
this hospital has no fireball
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
