there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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