omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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