How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
