I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
