well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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