im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
