I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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