i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize