i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
