JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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