WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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