we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
