We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
