What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize