I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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