North Korea, Best Korea!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm too high and old for this...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
