How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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